Floating, buzzing, ringing in the new you

Floaters appear to us as black strings, webs, spectral films, dots and specks.  They float in our field of vision as we move our eyes, in particular, after a certain age.
They are constantly moving; you can't follow them as they appear to move away when you try to focus on them. 
These ghostly friends are caused by changes that occur as we age, as the jelly inside our eyes becomes more liquid. 

Tinnitus is the high pitched, constant, non-stop ringing and buzzing in our ears competing with normal sounds around us.   Every day, it seems to get louder, more insistent.

So here we are.  Floaters in our eyes.  Ringing in our ears.  Short term memories missing, fleeting or faulty.  Introductions are made, and by the time we have gone around the circle, there is no idea who these people are, what was said, and why you are even standing there.  

What about the hair that grows in all the wrong places,  requiring Herculean daily efforts to hold back the conversion from man to wolf in daylight hours?

Is there something we can take?  Some kind of tincture, potions, creams, sprays?  Go ask Gwyneth.

We have pills to reduce cholesterol from building up in arteries, pills to hold back the evil thoughts and hopefully control the chemicals in our brains from pulling us under the black water we are soaking in, pills to boost the thyroid, adrenalin to suppress the appetite, and everyday, there is more gas, grease, blood, excess liquids, accumulation of fluids and fatty deposits.

Yet no pills exist to remedy shallow bank accounts. We have dope, but no hope.

We have creams for fungus, creams for the sun, creams for pain, creams to remove hair, or help hair grow.  Lubricants to make it wet, made it hard, make it go away.  Wax to hold things in place.

We have sprays to freshen up, to disinfect, sprays that also hold things in place. Yet we no longer have places, we refuse to know our place.  We go where we are not invited, and we don't leave when asked.

We have scents to replace the one's we generate.  But no scents to give us a sense of wonder, a sense that we have less sense that we need in a world that is ever more senseless.   

We have drinks to give us energy, drinks to take away the pain, drinks that cause only pain.  

And we have weed.  We have weed killers.  We have buzz killers, we have bug killers, we have pesticides, herbicides, parasites, fratricide, suicide and more sides to be on. Did you want an extra side with that?  We have insides on the outs, and outsides that we try to control like insides.

We have drugs that kill, prescriptions to fill, drugs that help increase our fertility, drugs that help maintain an erection, but no drugs that can reduce collusion in our elections.

We have printed today's post in large print.